what comes when dreams will not

There is a fair amount of change afoot. The type of change that involves updating one’s CV and resume, scouring craigslist for apartments, and wondering just how much stuff really will fit in my suitcases.

The change that is coming is good.  It is exciting.  But it is also heart-wrenching.  It means really evaluating what I have been driving towards professionally for the last decade; understanding that higher education has become a messy, messy place with much of the magic sucked out of it; and being separated from P for a span of months.

Its no wonder I can’t sleep.  Thoughts of the future crowd me out of my own bed at night.  I flee to the couch to make some room hoping that those thoughts don’t linger in bed and disturb P as he soundly sleeps. Many of these thoughts I must wrestle with on my own in the wee hours of the night and morning in hopes that I can distill them into something that I can cogently articulate to P at a more polite hour.  Sometimes I can, but many times I cannot.

I don’t yet know what tonight will bring.  Maybe something; maybe nothing.  And perhaps an episode of House of Cards.

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About OneGoneTwo

bioethicist, cultural studies, literature, and visual cultural scholar, writer, and lover of design
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