I Struggle….

Struggling is not one of those things any of us really enjoys  owning up to or talking about.  More and more, however, as a writer – a writer of a dissertation to complete my Ph.D. – talking about the struggles is important because the writing and editing is such a solitary activity.  So too as of late is the procrastination – which I don’t condone (insert finger waggling here)!

This morning my darling partner sent me a link to Harvard Business Review articles on achievement – “The Trouble with Bright Kids.”  I guess one of the reasons I am so screwed up and why I am struggling so much with the completion of the project, at least according to the HBR, is that I was praised improperly: I was praised for my accomplishment not my effort.

Yup. That seems about right.  Certainly, when you figure that in terms of effort I am struggling with that each day more so than the writing (although I guess the two are indelibly linked).  People are pleased with the finished product — once it gets finished, but ignore the toils along the way thinking that somehow 250+ pages just appear.  They don’t.  Trust me.

I can’t go back and fix my 5th grade self or scold my 5th grade teacher whose name I can’t even remember at this point — oh, but if I did, there surely would be an email to you this morning! All I can do is try writing, try working on those 20 pages that I promised myself I would work on today, and be happy that I tried.  Well, there is more than that, but we will go with baby steps for now.   That and get out of my pjs…


About OneGoneTwo

bioethicist, cultural studies, literature, and visual cultural scholar, writer, and lover of design
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